i have about 4 or 5 books laying about the house which i’ve started. i have a list of weekly goals, a schedule template, but … i misplaced that motivation! tonight when i’m sitting on the couch i’ll try to remember where i put it.

i am finally starting to admit to myself that i am a lazy bones. i haven’t called Eriko on the phone since January. that’s just one example.

i have to admit that although i told myself that i didn’t want my birthday to be any big thing, i can’t help but notice when people dear to me don’t remember. luckily i’m sure i’ll forget many a thing so i can just keep this as a get out of jail free card. ;P

i think that it is hard to analyze such an extended period of time when most of my senses are so fixated on what immediately surrounds them. with that in mind, my age is just an arbitrary point on the line segment which is my life. i don’t know how far i’ve come; i don’t know how far i’m going. i can only look at where i am to judge the quality of my existence. i feel pretty good. every day i learn more about who i am, what i want, where i need to be. i grow more comfortable with my own skin, my limitations, my gifts. i know, though, that the roller coaster has not hit the big hill yet. i’m nervous, i’m scared, i’m excited. all i can do is hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

i haven’t done much today. slept in until about 10:30; goofed around on the computer for a few hours; went to Coscto; watched the Mariner’s blow another game; took a nap. ;) soon I’ll play poker with some co-workers. i’m a little fearful for my money, these are some smart fellows.

well, i switched to decaf coffee today… that didn’t take long… ;P