what was supposed to be a nice, easy, tourist-capable hike turned into a grueling 7 hour adventure. somehow we all managed to get lost and climbed the mountain from the wrong direction. but now, its over. whew

I did not control myself last night and had too much beer. Now I am suffering. Ugh. Luckily I have finished about 80% of my packing and 80% of the work tasks I need to get done before I leave so I can be 20% of my self today. Ugh. i am useless

rocked! Maybe I’ll watch gone with the wind tonight? Or another, perhaps. It was real nice of Aaron to lend David and I these movies. This means I don’t get “anything” done in the evening, but I’m just trying to pass the time until vacation.. ;P

My buddy Aaron offered to take me out to dinner – and I suggested Outback Steakhouse. Its certainly not the steak that I can get at home, but its not bad. We were joined by Carol, Joe, Lisa, Kaya, and David. I had a real nice time. It was interesting for me to note that I was celebrating with a bunch of people that I barely knew (actually, I didn’t know anyone of the bunch except for David) a year ago. The world is full of amazing people and I am lucky for those with which bonds are formed. Oh Eriko! One more week..

I wasn’t up late but that doesn’t stop me from being sleepy this morning. I had a good birthday. Slept in, laying awake wondering if I would hear from Eriko. Then I got up, drank some coffee, and then laid on the couch, reading a little Satre and daydreaming/thinking (usually about Eriko). Finally about eleven David woke up and we headed out to Seattle’ seafair. Nothing was happening, although we could see the Blue Angels flying about along with a C-130. I felt cool because I predicted the C-130 based on the noise as it flew over our apartment. We proceeded to pick up David’s friend who is a researcher at Fred Hutchison, and headed for a Korean restaraunt in Edmonds. The food was delicious and very filling. Upon returning to our home base, David and I watched Pitch Black – we’d both already seen it but we were too tired and full to do anything else. ;P He went to take a nap and I laid on the couch and read a little more Satre and some Calvin and Hobbes. I got a call from my parents, which was very enjoyable; then David and I met Alex and Kellie to watch American Wedding at the theatre. It was entertaining but not quite worth the price I paid. Finally, it was time for bed. And Eriko did remember.

I don’t hear much from Eriko these days. I’m surprised sometimes, especially when I recall the moments in which I was overbearing and couldn’t help talking to her. Not that she always responded, which was an obvious sign that I needed to learn to give her room. That is the learning process I go through now. I haven’t heard her voice since March but I don’t want to call her. Everytime I call her my dad asks me if she has called me yet. I don’t like to answer no. As my confidence, strength, and attention in myself grow, I am more and more comfortable with our silence. But I still lay awake at night or stay in bed in the morning, at times, struggling with her absence – and confronted with the reality of self, lonely self. Life is fun, but challenging.